To say I've been struggling lately would be an understatement. Feelings of inadequacy. Feelings of discontent. Feeling like what I have / am doing is not good enough.
I've been guilty on more than one occasion (most days lately, it seems) of allowing various forms of social media to dictate my attitude throughout the course of the day.
Allowing the negativity, constant complaining of "first world problems," the seemingly vapid comments when there are actual real-world things happening. That's not to say I don't do my share of pop culture and first world problem tweeting (because I definitely do), but when it seems like that's *all* it is, it's just...hard to read all the time.
Social media can be an amazing tool. I have met so many wonderful people and consider so many of those to be true friends with whom I also communicate outside of Twitter. (Side note: If this is not your social media experience, you're doing it wrong.) But it can also be a place of insane negativity.
I cannot tell you how many times in the past few months I have found myself experiencing anxiety and anger over things people have said...and they're not even saying those things to me most of the time! And that? Is ridiculous.
That is when it's time to step back. To unfriend. To detach. If we would not be friends in real life - if I have removed others from my life because of their toxicity - then why do I continue allowing it to be that way on social media?
Because I don't want to have to deal with an uncomfortable situation. And that is no longer a good enough reason. I have been talking to my dear friend, N, a lot lately about choosing positivity and focusing on what really matters. She summed it up perfectly: "We all have enough dysfunction in real life to have it online."
I just can't take it anymore. I cannot let it continue to have an affect on my life. I choose to surround myself with people who add to the joy of life, not drain of emotion and energy, both in real life and on social media.
The fear of wondering what they will say or do if I unfollow is sometimes paralyzing. But why do I put so much emphasis on what they will think? In most cases, we rarely even interact. In other cases, it's pretty one-sided. And sometimes, it just happens organically. Sometimes you just outgrow people. Sometimes you just move in different directions. And that's okay. That's just life.
I'm Choosing Joy. I'm choosing joy every day, in every situation. Including social media, because I won't allow my escape from every day realities become the place that causes so much angst. Unfriending. Detaching. Reclaiming control of my day.
Have you ever experienced this sort of thing? How did you handle it? I'd love to hear your input and suggestions on how to handle / choose joy in an online world that thrives on negativity.