Last week I found myself in a conversation about laughter and it prompted me to think about the last time I laughed. Really laughed. The can't-breathe-side-hurts-tears-streaming-soul-lifting kind of laugh.
And what I realized rocked me. I can't remember the last time that happened.
I've smiled, I've given half-hearted efforts, but I haven't really laughed.
I remember a time when I was the girl who was always laughing. What happened to that girl?
Was it divorce?
Was it my father's death?
Was it infertility?
Was it depression?
Was it just life?
I think it's been a combination of all of those. Somewhere along the way I just stopped trying. I became sarcastic and cynical and untrusting.
I stopped looking for reasons to be happy.
I stopped trying to find the joy in the every day.
I stopped enjoying life.
And that is no way to live.
I don't want to have a life of just going through the motions. I don't want to have a life devoid of joy and laughter.
It's so easy to get caught up in negativity, in complaining or comparing or gossiping - all things I want to stop inviting into my life.
The way to do that?
Being intentional about the good things in life.
Being intentional about laughter.
Being intentional about choosing joy.
If I'm being completely honest with you - and myself - I have to acknowledge that this isn't going to be something that comes easily. And that's a pretty uncomfortable thing to admit.
It's going to require effort and work.
It's going to require digging deep and really being aware of my thoughts.
It's going to be hard, but it's going to be worth it.
Will you join me in choosing joy?
This post is part of the 31 Days of Intention series. You can see other posts in this series here.